Does this scenario sound familiar?

It’s the day before little Johnny’s photo shoot.  You booked this session 4 weeks ago, found three adorable new outfits and made sure to get Johnny’s hair cut last week.  Everything’s all set and you’re ready to go!  But wait!  Little Johnny is being extra clumsy today.  You follow him around like a hawk to make sure he doesn’t stumble.  God forbid he gets a black eye the day before your session!

It’s midday and so far so good, no major collisions with the coffee table but now it’s nap time and it’s not going well.  Little Johnny is protesting.  The thought of schedule demise is plaguing your mind.  If he doesn’t nap, he’ll go to bed too early and will wake up too early and he’ll be a big huge cranky mess come session time.  HE MUST NAP!  You finally win the battle and little Johnny drifts off to sleep –  a little later than normal, but your schedule has been saved and the domino effect has been avoided.

Nightime goes smoothly, Johnny’s face is still unscathed and he wakes up rested and chipper in the morning.  Wait a minute…is he warm?  Please let him not be warm!  You get your husband and next door neighbor to perform a forehead test and the conclusion is that Johnny is NOT feverish.  Phew!  Finally it’s time and you grab the bag full of clothes that you’ve carefully selected for the shoot (can’t risk getting them dirty on the ride over) grab little Johnny’s hand and out the door you go.

Just as you begin to breathe a sigh of relief, Johnny insists on getting into the mini van himself and along the way his little leg slips and down he goes, top lip giving the side of the van a nice big kiss.  The tears flow, the lip swells and mama is ready to throw in the towel!

Now, imagine that you not only have one but three “Little Johnnies” and in addition to making sure that they are all picture perfect you also must make sure the scenery, the lighting, the equipment, the props, the helper (i.e. the reluctant husband) and everything else are ready and perfect.  Yep, in essence, the stars must align just right and we all know the chances of that happening.  Case in point:

It’s the end of July and my baby girl is going to celebrate her 3rd birthday in just a few days.  I realize at this point that it’s probably time to start thinking about 3-year portraits or better yet, 5-year portraits for my son who already celebrated his birthday a week prior.  Oh wait, did I ever photograph my oldest daughter when she turned 8 in February?  Hmmm, I don’t think so.  So, I’m a little late in the game but hey, I’m the photographer.  No problem!

I go out that day and buy a cute new dress for my 3-year-old to wear, scour my son’s dresser…ok, dirty clothes…for a nice shirt and warn my oldest daughter that she needs to find something that looks “decent”.  I think it’s safe to say that the desire for “picture perfect” attire goes down incrementally with each year of your child’s life.

The next day is THE day and I’ve planned it all out in my head.   I throw my son’s shirt in the washer, iron my baby girl’s dress and make sure that my oldest has chosen something “decent”.  As session time gets closer, I begin the painstaking process of getting everyone dressed and ready.  I put the new and ironed dress on Johnny #1 and brush her hair.  I pull out the custom made headband that I found in my studio and couldn’t believe how perfectly it matched the dress I got her.  She flips out.  She hates headbands and refuses to wear it.  Instead of just nixing the idea completely (like a sane person would), I decide to destroy the $20 headband by cutting the flower off and attaching it to a bobby pin.  Voila!  Instant hair clip (just don’t tell my husband how much it cost or what I did to it).  Little Johnny #1 is picture perfect.

Now for Little Johnny #2.  OMG!  His shirt is still in the washer!  There’s no time to dry it now.  I ravage through his closet and find 3 shirt options.  One has a picture of a dump truck, the other says “Take it Cheesy Dude” and the third is an old polo shirt that is most definitely too small.  I choose the polo, don’t ask me why.  I quickly brush his hair, which was due up for a haircut about 4 weeks ago, and he’s ready.  Definitely not picture perfect, but ready.

Little Johnny #3 decides at the last minute that she wants pictures with her American Girl doll and insists they must match.  After a few wardrobe changes and a bit of arguing, we both finally agree on something and she now looks “decent”.

Just as we’re finishing up, I get a call from my husband.  He’s got a flat tire.  What?!?  By the time he gets it changed and takes the car to the tire shop, it will be too late to make it to the park I’ve chosen before it gets dark.  Now what?  After all this “preparation” I refuse to postpone our session.

I quickly decide that we will just do the session in our backyard.  There’s a nice little cove in the back that will work perfectly…except…it’s way overgrown and looks disgusting.  No worries!  I put some winter boots on (it’s all I could find), grab a rake and go at it.  I can’t imagine how ridiculous I looked wearing winter boots with shorts and a tank top but it’s all in the name of perfect pictures.

As I’m working…and sweating…I realize it’s getting pretty cloudy and dark out.  I hadn’t checked the radar all day and oddly enough, it never even occurred to me that it might rain.  Duh!  So I work as fast as I can and decide that NOW is the time.  I can’t wait for the hubby any longer.  I gather up the kids and just as we’re heading outside, my helper pulls in.  Yay!  We’re saved!  I quickly hand him the reflector and I begin shooting little Johnny #1.

As I take my first picture, I feel a drop of rain.  With each click of the shutter, come more and more drops.  Yep, it’s raining but I refuse to accept defeat.  I continue snapping away with Johnny #1 (who was more interested in looking at my “helper” than me) while the hubby keeps reminding me that I’m going to ruin my camera.  I ignore him and start snapping a few of Johnny #2, who I just realized looked completely disheveled.  His hair was a mess and his shirt was about 5 sizes too small and full of wrinkles.  After a few unsuccessful attempts to get him to smile without opening his eyes as wide as he possibly could and now with more rain coming down, I accept what I got and move on to Johnny #3.

I’m ready to cry at this point but thankfully over the last 8 years, Johnny #3 has learned my photography commands.  She smiles, she poses, she moves her head “just a smidgen” like I ask.  Thirty seconds later, we’re done.

Perfect?  Nope, not even close.  Pretty much everything that could go wrong did.   Yet suprisingly, I still love the images.  And I also love the nice BIG glass of wine I poured myself after it was all over

So yes, I’ve been there and believe me, I get it!  No matter how much planning we do, it seems that unpredictability always wins out.  This picture perfect thing we hear so much about may very well be a myth.  The good news is, no matter how fat the lip or how messy the hair or wherever the location…your “Little Johnny” still manages to melt your heart when you see that smiling face in the picture on your wall.  Somehow, some way, it all seems to work out.